The Perversion of Haruhi Suzumiya
by Kagamin
Summary: Title says it all. Besides groping, what other things are going threw Haruhi's mind? And what about her fetishes?Kyon, you better watch out! D:


_**The Perversion of Haruhi Suzumiya.**_

"Would you mind telling me just what the hell is going on here?"

The reply I got was hardly a reply of justification.

"Turn-ons Kyon, Turn-ons!"

Sigh. I gave up momentarily to take a look around the room. It looked like an exact replica of a torture chamber in those horrid bondage videos.

The usually empty clubroom table, was now occupied with leather straps tied around the table, and closed shut with buckles.

Which reminds me strangely of that fiction tale of the mad scientist who created Frankenstein. Who made that up, anyway?

Looking over my head, I saw what looked like shackles hanging from the ceiling on a chain.To the right where Asahina-sans cute costumes usually were, crazy leather jumpsuits replaced them. Only the jumpsuit had a _feminine_ _touch_ of holes in _certain places_. Go figure. Over to left where the book shelf was, I noticed a several amount of books were replaced by Kinky sex toys, and bondage material.

Haruhi Suzumiya, have you lost your mind!? If a teacher were to walk in, what would happen then? Are you genuinely that stupid!

"Hold on."

I rested my hand on the eccentric girls shoulder, who happened to be standing by me grinning wickedly.

"Just what is all this stuff?"

As though I asked the same question twice, Haruhi shoved my hand off of her and looked at me with obvious frustration.

"God Kyon, are genuinely that stupid!?"

No. That's you.

"I've realized that having just a bunny girl, or a maid, or whatever just ins't enough! There are people out there who don't just want cute, but want hardcore!"

With her hands flailing at a few words for emphasis, I slowly took this in.

Makes sense. But the overall concept was awful.

Now I was confused about Nagato. She was sitting in her normal corner, reading normally, but she was dressed as a nurse. It didn't match the grim theme the club room

was already setting off.

"Nagato is dressed as a Nurse because that was the only costume that came in her size."

Walking in, I finally shut the door and sat down at the nearest seat infront of me. Ahh, Why do I even bother coming to this place?

I always end up lecturing, or yelling at this insane person who runs this club. Sometimes I regret the day I even put this idea into Haruhi's head.

A seat across from me, I noticed Haruhi pull out a peculiar magazine from her backpack... Don't tell me that's what I think it is.

Did that magazine just read PLAYBOY? Please tell me I am mistaken.

Walking over to Nagato, she took whatever 5,000,000 worded sci-fi masterpeice she was currently reading; and switched it with the pornographic material. If I was Nagato I would've gotten up and grabbed my book back. No way you're switching my book with THAT CRAP. I swear, I could see Nagato's eyebrow twitch slightly with a twinge of anger. Honestly Nagato, do not let Haruhi lecture you into reading these things. If my legs were to work, I would save you myself. But I am much too tired.

"Ah, man! Mikuru-chan sure is late! After all the trouble I went through to get the perfect costume!"

Please do not say it in a way as though you did her a favor.

That is never the case.

Unfortunately to the current situation, the lovely Asahina-san came running in through the door, panting in little huffs and her hair slightly disordered. Meaning, she had ran here.

"I-I'm, really sorry I'm late..." Tilting her head from the leaning the position she was currently in, she looked up to everyone and opened her eyes. "I.."

That sentence was never finished. Eyes widended, and her little mouth agaped, she was in complete shock at the horrfying condition of the clubroom.

Formely known as, "The SOS-dan."

"What.. What's going on here?"

Oh Mikuru, if only I truly knew, I would tell you myself.

"Yahoo! Mikuru-chan has finally arrived; Boy do I have a present for you."

I could sense fear. And it wasn't my own.

Running over to the poor defenseless girl, Haruhi easily took advantage of her and tackled her to the ground.

Shrieks and cries were constant, and Haruhi would normally say "Just shut up, and put it on! "

Followed by a fragile Mikuru saying, "I..I can do it myself!" I turned away too keep from witnessing anymore.

Ah! Wait! I am supposed to protect her from situations like these!

Too late.

"Ahhn Mikuru, I never realized how sexy your body actually was! Leather suits you."

What the hell! I couldn't believe my own eyes. Was that duct tape over Asahina-sans... nipples?

And was that a TEDDY that she was wearing!?

Haruhi, I always knew you were pervert, but now I am starting to think your a dirty old man in a schoolgirls body.

"IIIIIEEEEEEE!!!" Mikuru cried with tears descending down her face, she retreated, covering her perfectly shaped-- Ahhm, her breasts with her arms, and went for the table. Haruhi on the other hand, was not going to let her escape; In a cobra like motion Haruhi's hands swooped around Mikuru faster then my brain could react for my eyes. Are? How fast did she just move? That was significantly inhuman.

"Mikuru-chan, they're so plushy without all the fabric in the way!"

Plushy?

"II--II---IIIIYYYAAHHH!"

Haruhi, remove your hands from her breasts right this instant. Damn, why do I feel so much jealousy right now?

Wait, where are you going with that hand? Hold on!

"N-no! Not ther- STO-- Ahhn!"

!!!?? No! I can't bear to watch this anymore.

Swiftly, I caught Haruhi's hand before she could try another move on Mikuru's nether regions.

This has seriously gone too far.

"Kyon! What the hell are you thinking!?"

What the hell am I thinking?

What the hell are you thinking?

As I tried to figure out why Haruhi would even have the nerve to ask me that; Mikuru ran under the table that she so desperately tried to get under last time.With all good success, she weeped hysterically. Her face covered in her delicate arms, and her body rolled in a ball so defenselessly. Look what you did you beast!

That's it.

I'm putting my foot down.

"Haruhi, That's it! We're through with this hell hole!"

Stomping once, I pointed towards the way out.

Aah, though I said I was putting my foot down, I am thinking about lifting it back up.

Haruhi smirked.

I am officially petrified.

Wait a minute...

"Where's Koizumi?" I asked sensing a trap. Why didn't I notice he was missing before? Was this all a set up?

Premeditated Molestation? Rape? Murder?

"Daaaanchou, I got the costume."

Ah! Found you! You're trap is foiled. Wait a second... Cos...tume...?

------------------

Kyon: Let me guess. Fireman?

Haruhi and **Kagamin**: How'd you know?

Kyon: Yare, Yare...

**Kagamin**: Kyon, y-you spoiler!

[Tell me what you think you guys. ;O

Don't worry, there is more.

I don't own Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu :D


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